Written by timdyer on March 11, 2013
Four Stepping Stones of the Peacemaking Journey
UncategorizedTruth-telling – What actually occured? How should it be understood? What needs to communicated to whom? What should remain confidential? Justice-seeking – what is the sin, evil or injustice in this? What will make this right for the offended parties? What does God’s justice look like here? Grace giving – What does God’s mercy and
Written by timdyer on December 10, 2012
An important discussion of the theology of reconciliation
UncategorizedTHEOLOGY OF RECONCILIATION AND PEACEMAKING FOR MISSION by Robert Schreiter 2003 Lectures for the British and Irish Association of Mission Studies New College, University of Edinburgh June 23-25, 2003 PDF version of the lecture
Written by timdyer on April 26, 2012
Congregations that are toxic for clergy
Church ConflictKilling the Clergy Softly – Congregational conflict, job loss and depression An interesting article by David Briggs.
Written by timdyer on March 22, 2012
A Conflict Management Process
Church ConflictThere are several key steps to action in conflict scenarios.
Create Space
After a conflict has erupted the first thing to do is to create space to deal with it well. Negotiate a cease-fire. In this space spend some time agreeing to how to proceed. We call this ‘negotiating process’. Agreement can be around the use of ground rules, covenant commitments, or a shared set of core values to honour in conflict. It may be a good time to do some teaching if the situation is not too volatile and tense. Although if the pastor is personally involved, it cannot be the pastor who teaches this. The second key element of creating space is reconciling hurt relationships. It is essential to make sure relationships are put right if there were hurtful events in the initial flare up. This reconciliation doesn’t solve the conflict, but it does create the spiritual and psychological space in which the conflict can be worked on.
Written by timdyer on February 24, 2012
Resources for a service of healing and recovery
Church ConflictWhile travelling interstate this last week, I met with a pastor who was seeking to facilitate a time of healing in his church which had been through a difficult time. Conflict and hurt can be profoundly painful for Christian communities for many reasons. The opportunity to bring some of these situations honestly and openly
Written by timdyer on May 27, 2011
Saying Sorry – steps towards relational reconciliation
Church ConflictIf you have been involved in a church or organisational process of consultation or facilitation you may have identified tense or broken relationships which are preventing you from contributing fully and effectively to managing or resolving the issues.
You may be a hurt or injured person in this context. You may also be aware that you have said or done things which have injured or hurt others. It is likely you will be both.
You will also have heard that it is necessary to reconcile relationships before work on the differences and issues can begin. It is important that issues are separated from relationships and the two are dealt with independently because if relationships are not reconciled any work on the issues gets reinfected by the anger, resentment and anxiety of unresolved relationships.
Written by timdyer on May 9, 2011
Habits in Conflict: Divided or Bound Together
Church Conflict
Divided by conflict |
Bound together by conflict |
| 1. Conflict viewed as wrong, sinful, sign of not caring, something to avoid at all costs. Some may be reluctant to disagree with those they like or respect. It is avoided. | 1. Conflict viewed as inevitable, neither right nor wrong, an opportunity to grow, it can be evidence of involvement and concern. It is welcomed. |
| “If he disagrees with me, that proves he doesn’t care about me and can’t be trusted. We need to pray for a change of heart.” | “Its going to take some time and energy to work this through but it will be worth it as we both care a lot about the church and want the best outcome” |
Written by timdyer on April 15, 2011
Mediation – A Ministry of Reconciliation
Church Conflict
What is mediation? Mediation is a facilitated process for dealing with interpersonal conflicts. It is conciliatory rather than adversarial in nature. Mediation is based on trust and encourages honest open communication and collaboration to reach an outcome which as far as possible meets the needs of both parties. Mediation involves a structured process of listening, offering and receiving apologies and forgiveness for hurts, clarifying the key issues, exploring the issues as thoroughly as possible, and reaching agreement on an outcome or a way forward. The progress is usually recorded in a documented agreement which both parties are asked to sign as an indication of trust and goodwill. The mediators are usually trained for this ministry. Participants often bring a support person along with them.
Written by timdyer on September 11, 2010
Covenant Commitments for Christians in Times of Conflict
Church Conflict
“Making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3),
as individual members and as the body of Christ, before God, we commit that:
In our thoughts, we will
Accept conflict
Acknowledge together that disagreement and conflict are normal parts of our lives in Christian community and in themselves are not sinful. Rom 14:1-8, 10-12, 17-19; 15:1-7