Written by timdyer on October 7, 2013
5 sources of congregational conflict
Church Conflict
I have been consulting with conflicted congregations since 1994. I had seen and been involved in many situations before then. Congregational conflict is common. It helps a little, I think, to identify a handful of the key sources of conflict. This enables us to be better prepared for what will normally unfold at some point in a churches life.
Written by timdyer on October 4, 2013
Bible Society Article on Church Conflict
Church ConflictSophie Timothy from the Bible Society in Australia recently interviewed me for an article on Church Conflict. You can find it here. How to deal well with conflict in the church (and not pretend it doesn’t exist)
Written by timdyer on September 1, 2013
Handling Grievances the Gospel Way
Church ConflictA Sample Grievance Process
From time to time, in every community, issues arise between individuals and and others in organisations. This is normal. In anticipation, this document is designed to assist individuals find a godly and appropriate pathway to see their issues and concerns addressed.
The core Biblical values that support this process are truth-telling (Eph 4:15,25), justice-seeking (Micah 6:8), grace-giving (Col 3:13) and peace-making (Matt 5:9, Eph 4:2-3). The overall process is outlined in Matt 18:15-20.
Written by timdyer on April 26, 2012
Congregations that are toxic for clergy
Church ConflictKilling the Clergy Softly – Congregational conflict, job loss and depression An interesting article by David Briggs.
Written by timdyer on March 22, 2012
A Conflict Management Process
Church ConflictThere are several key steps to action in conflict scenarios.
Create Space
After a conflict has erupted the first thing to do is to create space to deal with it well. Negotiate a cease-fire. In this space spend some time agreeing to how to proceed. We call this ‘negotiating process’. Agreement can be around the use of ground rules, covenant commitments, or a shared set of core values to honour in conflict. It may be a good time to do some teaching if the situation is not too volatile and tense. Although if the pastor is personally involved, it cannot be the pastor who teaches this. The second key element of creating space is reconciling hurt relationships. It is essential to make sure relationships are put right if there were hurtful events in the initial flare up. This reconciliation doesn’t solve the conflict, but it does create the spiritual and psychological space in which the conflict can be worked on.
Written by timdyer on February 24, 2012
Resources for a service of healing and recovery
Church ConflictWhile travelling interstate this last week, I met with a pastor who was seeking to facilitate a time of healing in his church which had been through a difficult time. Conflict and hurt can be profoundly painful for Christian communities for many reasons. The opportunity to bring some of these situations honestly and openly
Written by timdyer on May 27, 2011
Saying Sorry – steps towards relational reconciliation
Church ConflictIf you have been involved in a church or organisational process of consultation or facilitation you may have identified tense or broken relationships which are preventing you from contributing fully and effectively to managing or resolving the issues.
You may be a hurt or injured person in this context. You may also be aware that you have said or done things which have injured or hurt others. It is likely you will be both.
You will also have heard that it is necessary to reconcile relationships before work on the differences and issues can begin. It is important that issues are separated from relationships and the two are dealt with independently because if relationships are not reconciled any work on the issues gets reinfected by the anger, resentment and anxiety of unresolved relationships.
Written by timdyer on May 9, 2011
Habits in Conflict: Divided or Bound Together
Church Conflict
Divided by conflict |
Bound together by conflict |
| 1. Conflict viewed as wrong, sinful, sign of not caring, something to avoid at all costs. Some may be reluctant to disagree with those they like or respect. It is avoided. | 1. Conflict viewed as inevitable, neither right nor wrong, an opportunity to grow, it can be evidence of involvement and concern. It is welcomed. |
| “If he disagrees with me, that proves he doesn’t care about me and can’t be trusted. We need to pray for a change of heart.” | “Its going to take some time and energy to work this through but it will be worth it as we both care a lot about the church and want the best outcome” |
Written by timdyer on April 15, 2011
What is mediation? Mediation is a facilitated process for dealing with interpersonal conflicts. It is conciliatory rather than adversarial in nature. Mediation is based on trust and encourages honest open communication and collaboration to reach an outcome which as far as possible meets the needs of both parties. Mediation involves a structured process of listening, offering and receiving apologies and forgiveness for hurts, clarifying the key issues, exploring the issues as thoroughly as possible, and reaching agreement on an outcome or a way forward. The progress is usually recorded in a documented agreement which both parties are asked to sign as an indication of trust and goodwill. The mediators are usually trained for this ministry. Participants often bring a support person along with them.