Get below the surface to resolve conflict – think icebergs yet again!!

 One of the common difficulties in conflict resolution is for work to take place at the wrong level.  Attempting to resolve conflict at the positional level is fraught with difficulties.  Two people with opposing positions will usually only confront each other and push each other further away.  I commonly ask individuals or groups to actively lay down their positions (better without even declaring up front), so that we can move the discussion to the deeper level of needs, interests, values, experiences, beliefs and assumptions.  This is a much better space for constructive conversation. Mutual understanding of each other’s rather complex, and not always consistent, cluster of needs, values and interests goes a long way to assisting healthy resolution.