This simple five step process is designed to allow for three sources of spiritual discernment to work in harmony with each other. These are; God-given human insight, the wisdom of reflecting in community, and intentional times of listening to God.
This idea has been adapted from an original scheme shared on a retreat my wife Merran attended in the UK, facilitated by Gerard Hughes the author of God of Surprises .
The process:
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Gather a small group of people who you trust, who know you well and are willing to walk a process of discernment with you. e.g. Husband and wife, home group, retreat group, peer group, soul friends.
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Frame the question you are discerning in a closed form (“yes” or “no” response)
e.g. Is my time here complete? Will I seek another term as pastor? Should I apply for this position? Would it be good for our family to move to this location? Should we become members of this church? Is it time for me to resign my job? Should I take up theological study? -
Allocate a time period for the decision. e.g. 2 weeks, 1 month, 3 months. Then divide what ever period you have allocated into five equal periods I.e. a month will divide into 5 periods of 6 days. Or you can intentionally set aside 10 weeks, five periods of two weeks each.
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Then follow the outline below:
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Step A: Compile the reasons for saying “Yes”
During this period the group collectively seeks to produce the most thoughtful and considered list of ‘reasons to say “Yes”’ that it can. Apply as much wisdom and reflection as possible to this. -
a) The primary person asking for assistance with discernment puts together an initial list and circulates it.
b) The group meets for discussion of these / or emails their ideas around and adds or suggests any others
c) The primary person edits the final list and distributes the completed list to the group on the last day.
Step B: Discern these reasons
During this period the group covenants to pray regularly through the list asking God for assistance in discerning how important each ‘reason’ is. There is no further discussion of these. -
a) Members of the group covenant to pray daily and to record their reflections during or after prayer
b) In particular they are asked to ‘tune in’ to questions that should be raised or a sense that ‘reasons’ listed are growing or decreasing in importance.
Step C: Compile reasons ‘against’ or to say “No”
During this period the group collectively seeks to produce the most thoughtful and considered list of ‘reasons to say “No”’ it can. Care is taken not to simply mirror the ‘first list’ in negative form. Significant independent ‘reasons’ that stand on their own are sought.a) Again the primary person puts together an initial list and circulates it for reflection
b) The group meets or emails their thoughts for discussion of these ‘reasons’ and suggests the addition of any others
c) The primary person edits the final list and distributes this list again to the group on the last day.
Step D: Discern these reasons
Similarly to time period 2 the group covenants not to discuss the ‘reasons against’ but simply to pray regularly through the list asking God for guidance in discerning how important each ‘reason’ is. -
a) Members of the group covenant to pray daily and to record their reflections during and after prayer
b) In particular they are asked to be sensitive to questions that should be raised or the sense that these reasons are growing or decreasing in importance.
Step E: Evaluate and Reflect on the changes which occurred over the discernment period
In the final period the group first reflects on the lists and their journaling in silent times and then meets to share, listen and reflect together on what happened for each list particularly during the time periods 2 (Step B) and 4 (Step D) as people prayed and reflected. -
a) The group members share one at a time their sense of what God confirmed or challenged over the four periods with specific attention paid to the times of silent prayer.
b) The primary person should listen and then share last.
c) Is there a clear sense of the a pattern arising from the discussion?
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It may be that a clear direction can be affirmed as a result of this process. It also may be that as the group discusses the outcome of the process the critical questions to ask and answer become clear. This also may allow the decision to be made on a clearer basis.
This process has been adapted from an original idea shared on retreat my wife Merran attended facilitated by Gerard Hughes author of God of Surprises .
adapted by Tim Dyer
John Mark Ministries 2005