“Making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:3),
as individual members and as the body of Christ, before God, we commit that:
In our thoughts, we will
Accept conflict
Acknowledge together that disagreement and conflict are normal parts of our lives in Christian community and in themselves are not sinful. Rom 14:1-8, 10-12, 17-19; 15:1-7
Affirm hope
Affirm that as God walks with us in conflict we can work through to a place where we can continue together and grow through the experience. Matt 18:20, Eph 4:15-16
Commit to prayer
Reflect prayerfully before God on our needs and those of others and commit ourselves to pray for a mutually satisfactory solution. James 5:16
In our actions, we will
Go to the other…
Go directly to those with whom have tense or broken relationships; avoiding gossip and behind-the-back criticism. We will speak with others before speaking about them. Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15-20
…In the spirit of humility
Reflect on our own possible contributions to the tension, we will be prepared to go in gentleness, patience and humility. Galatians 6:1-5
Be quick to listen
Listen carefully and clarify our understanding of what is shared before responding. James 1:19; Proverbs 18:13
Be slow to judge
Suspend judgements, avoid labelling, end name-calling, discard threats, and act in a non-defensive, non-reactive way. Romans 2:1-4; Galatians 5:22-26
Be willing to apologise and to forgive
Be prepared to acknowledge our behaviour and offer an apology, seeking forgiveness in situations where we have hurt another. We will be prepared to offer forgiveness where a genuine apology and request for forgiveness is made to us. Colossians 3:13
Be ready to negotiate with openness
Work through the disagreements constructively. Acts 15; Philippians 2:1-11
- Seeking understanding of the needs, interests, values and issues of all sides
- Seeking to generate ways forward with meet all parties needs
- Carefully evaluating ideas and possible solutions against agreed criteria
- Collaborate in working out a mutual solution and co-operating with the emerging agreement and consensus
In our lives, we will
Be steadfast in love
Be firm in our commitment to seek a mutual solution; be committed in holding to our common foundation in Christ; be steadfast in love. Colossians 3:12-15
Be open to mediation
Be open to accept skilled help. If we cannot reach agreement among ourselves, we will use others with gifts and training in mediation. Philippians 4:1-3
Trust the community
We will trust the community. If we cannot reach agreement or experience reconciliation, we will turn the decision over to others in the congregation or from the broader church community. Acts 15
- In one-to-one or small group disputes, this may mean allowing others to arbitrate.
- In congregational or organisational disputes, this may mean allowing others to arbitrate or implement constitutional decision-making processes, insuring that they are done in the spirit of these guidelines, and abiding by whatever decision is made.
Be the Body of Christ
Believe in and rely on the solidarity of the Body of Christ and its commitment to peace and justice, rather than resort to the courts of law. I Corinthians 6:1-6