Serving a church community as a pastor is a privilege which creates a unique type of relationship with members of a local church family. Pastors are present at important moments in individuals’ personal and spiritual lives and form deep and significant connections with members and members’ families. They guide and support parishioners as a part of the local church representing the care of the church and the care of God as they do so. They often facilitate other church members in forming mutually supportive relationships.
It is important to remember that pastoral relationships, while significant and meaningful, are not simply or even primarily, personal for the pastor, they are professional. The trust placed in a pastor is largely the result of an appointment to a spiritual leadership role in a specific church community. Obviously, the personality, maturity and spirituality of a pastor is important, however the pastor-parishioner relationship is enabled to flourish in an environment which is assumed to automatically carry high trust. This trust is largely the result of the spiritual context in which the relationships form. There are expectations shared by both parishioners and pastors that the purposes and priorities of pastoral relationships are for the growth and maturity of parishioners personally and collectively as part of the church.
A central principle in the ethics of pastoral ministry is that pastors must act in ways to build parishioners’ connections to the church community not to themselves personally. This is an ethical duty by virtue of their pastoral profession and an employment duty by virtue of their paid responsibilities to their church.
This principle is referred to as the duty of loyalty. All employees, and this includes the pastors of churches, must act in accordance with the purpose of the tasks for which they receive income. This means they cannot take something from their workplace intended for the benefit of the organisation or the people the organisation serves and use it for other purposes, particularly for their own personal benefit, or for the benefit of another organisation. This is true even if the something taken is relational trust and individuals’ commitment to a community.
It is normal for pastors to transition from time to time. As a part of this leaving process, it is important that they leave a church family with strong internal relational dynamics centred on the church community not on a personal connection, or the personality, of the pastor which could easily dissipate once the pastor leaves. Healthy pastors create loyalty to the church and generally to the pastoral role, not to themselves as individuals. This is ultimately in the best interests of the church community, of the parishioners themselves and of the ministry of future pastors.
It is therefore ethically inappropriate for a pastor, if difficulties arise, to use their spiritual influence and connections to leave taking those with whom they formed a close relationship with him or her, joining or forming another church in the same locality.
Due to the likelihood that some pastors and some parishioners may not appreciate the nature and importance of this principle, some churches have an item in their contracts for employment that ministers who leave, agree not to commence ministry in a local church, or start a separate church or ministry within close proximity to the church they leave.
Similarly, when a pastor retires from active ministry it is normal practice for them to agree not to continue to attend or voluntarily minister in the church they formerly led.
The emotional dimensions of the pastor-parishioner relationships are strong and complex. The relationship does not automatically end when the positional role concludes. A pastor needs to be very clear that in stepping down from their role they communicate clearly that they are no longer the pastor of the parishioners they once served. It is helpful for them to encourage their parishioners to begin the journey of giving the same trust and loyalty they gave their former pastor to their new pastor.