There are important similarities between supervision and mentoring but also some significant differences. The following summary is fleshed out a little more on a new handout from our Mentor Equipping Training.
Mentoring is ‘equipping’
The Biblical word that is foundational to our understanding of mentoring is the Koine Greek term katartizo. It is translated in a variety of way in our English versions of the Bible and makes a fascinating study.
Word study on ‘Equip’ (katartizo) Continue reading “Mentoring is ‘equipping’”
Multiplying Mentors
It was a privilege to spend some time with Les Scarborough at the Mentoring Network conference in Sydney and hear him again share his passion for multiplying mentors in the Australian Christian community. Following is a slightly developed version of Les’ vision.
On the difference between Mentoring and Coaching
Although the terms are used almost synonymously in many leadership formation environments, I see some important differences between them. These are outlined in the table below.
| Mentor | Coach | |
| Focus | On the individual as a whole person | Usually on a specific leadership skill |
| Role | Facilitating growth toward agreed objectives | Imparting skills to develop specific capacities |
| Relationship | Usually one to one with high trust level | Often one to many respect for capacity of the coach |
| Process | Listening, mutual discernment, reflection, empowering | Imparting, training, correction, practice. |
When might we use a coaching model in mentoring?
When a mentoree is operating with a relatively high level of ability but needs to acquire specific skills to deal more effectively with a life, leadership or ministry situation.
When the mentoree has given permission to be tough and has agreed to do the hard work of learning and embedding a new leadership skill.
How does coaching work?
Coaching moves through 3 stages.
1. Recognition of deficiency and motivation to change. This is the move from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence. When we get to “I need to change and I know what I need to learn”. We are ready to go.
2. Identifying and learning the skill set. This is breaking the skills down into learnable components. Then they are practiced intentionally, usually in artificial environments till they are ready to be used. This is the central shift from conscious incompetence to conscious competence. Here we have explanation, modelling, training, practice, practice, fine tuning, practice and practice.
3. Embedding the skill as a natural and normal part of leadership. Once learnt, used and normalised the skill is embedded in the repertoire of leadership. This is the final shift from conscious competence to unconscious competence. We just do it, now without thinking!
In mentoring it is worth knowing how to coach and using this skill as it is needed in the equipping relationship.
Outline of a typical mentoring session
There are several important sections in a typical mentoring session. I am assuming here that the four foundational processes of formation have been completed and mentoring has moved into the leadership / ministry formation stage.
1. Connecting, pastoral support
This is the opportunity for an important update of your mentoree’s life story. It is a chance for you to get a broad feel for what is happening in your mentoree’s life. Don’t structure this part too highly. It is an important time for your mentoree to raise anything that they would like to process. Be careful not to let this session take over the whole mentoring time. I usually give this around 20-30 minutes.
Common Questions:
How are you travelling? How is N the child of God, father, husband, pastor, gardener, golfer, householder? Share with me the 3 blessings you are most grateful for in the last month. What have been your three greatest burdens? What incidents, relationships, TV programs, books, remarks have had more than just a passing impact on you over the last month? Is there anything ‘out of left field’ that we need to talk about in this session?
2. Accountabilities
This section needs to follow the pastoral time. A mentoree does not normally settle in the session until the agreed and known hard questions are asked. This needs to be structured but facilitated in a caring and supportive manner.
Common Questions:
How did you go with the number of nights home with your family this month? Lets have a look at the accountability we put in place in relation to …. ? You committed to meet with … How did it go? I promised last session that I would ask you about your progress with …?
3. Work on agreed objectives and action points
This is the central section of mentoring and should be well planned and prepared. Look at each of the objective in turn and the action points that might have arisen in the last session. Is there progress? New learning? Is there further insight into the dynamics at play in each of the areas. Prepare questions, resources, exercises, discussion, action points for each objective for this session. Work together to agree to some practical and achievable action points that the mentoree commits to follow up before the next session.
Common Questions and Processes
Lets have a look at each of the objectives….. What have you been learning about in relation to …… Have you gained any insight into…… I have been reflecting on your objective of …… I have prepared an exercise in relation to….. In thinking about your objective of ….., I came across this article which I think might take us forward. Are there any commitments that you believe you should make out of today’s session. How do you feel about committing yourself to complete this by our next session? How seriously do you need to take this situation and act on it? How can I assist you meet your commitments?
4 Conclusion
Revisit any major items shared in the pastoral connection time.
Affirm progress made on accountabilities and objectives.
Remind mentoree of any commitments that you will follow up next session.
Take a few moments to summarise and reflect
Pray.
Questions / Comments
Let me just recap the journey of the last hour or so….. Lets just sit quietly for a moment. What has happened for you in the last 2 hours? What is something you are taking away from this session together? Let’s just go over our commitments to each other for the next session.
5. Arrange and confirm the next session.
Characteristics of an Effective Mentor (Glen Booth)
A simple but truthful acronym of the word ‘mentor’ from Glen Booth. Continue reading “Characteristics of an Effective Mentor (Glen Booth)”
Pastor’s Mentoring Policy for Local Churches
SAMPLE Spiritual Mentoring Policy for our Pastor
Preamble:
One of the key indicators of spiritual and emotional health in leadership is the willingness to engage in a relationship of support, growth and accountability. It is the policy of this church that our pastor has a spiritual director, guide, mentor or supervisor while leading this community and meets with this person regularly. The purposes of spiritual mentoring are: Continue reading “Pastor’s Mentoring Policy for Local Churches”
Forming a Mentoring Relationship
There are four key elements that need to be covered in the formation of mentoring relationship. These are outlined below. They may occur over 2, 3 or even 4 sessions. If there is an existing relationship getting started with mentoring may be engaged more quickly.
1. Building a high trust relationship
This always takes time, but I know no better way to begin this and to put the foundation in place that to have an opportunity for both mentor and mentoree to share their life stories with each other. Take some time with this so it is best done when there are no major time constraints. I tend not to prepare this before hand. I just let it come out as it feel right to share. Sharing a life story is sometimes a challenge for a mentoree, few have actually done before. It is in a sense sacred ground. As mentors we need to respect it as such.
2. Getting an overview of the mentoree’s life, challenges, roles and commitments
The sharing of life stories gives us a head start here but there is usually much more to getting a big picture understanding of our mentoree. What are their key roles in life, most important relationships, major issues and challenges. At what stage of marriage, family life, leadership development and personal spiritual formation are they? What are their gifts and capacities, personality preferences and leadership style. I often use some inventories and tools to assist me at this point.
3. Setting 3-4 clear objectives
Once we have connected and got a bit of understanding it is time to settle to clarifying 3 – 4 objectives for the year. Is is good for these to be expressed in SMART terms. I like to have one or two personal goals, one or two professional / leadership development goals and one goal related to something the mentoree has just always wanted to do for the fun of it!
4. Expressing the relationship in covenant terms
This written and signed document covers when and where we will meet, for how long and what to do if one or other needs to cancel. We agree to availability in crisis times, confidentiality, any involvement with the church, the minister’s partner, and how we handle social contact outside of mentoring.
I always ensure we document the objectives and commit to working actively on the them for 12 months.
We agree when the relationship will be reviewed. I go for 12 months and a possible renewal.
Both sign, pray and the mentoring begins……
A One Year Sample Outline of a Mentoring Relationship
The following table outlines a mentoring relationship over the course of 12 months.
Continue reading “A One Year Sample Outline of a Mentoring Relationship”
Is mentoring a Biblical concept?
I often get asked about the term ‘mentoring’ and whether it has a theological and biblical base. This is a great question and an important area in which not enough work has been done. I will reply by sketching out the way we handle this in our training of mentors within John Mark Ministries. For interest I have linked just a few sample files from our training web storage.
While the term “mentoring” is an extension of the Mentor – Telemachus narrative from Homer’s The Odyssey, (the account in Fenelon’s Les Adventures de Telemaque is better and more applicable) and as such is extra biblical, the semantic framework commonly associated mentoring certainly is a biblical concept. I understand this framework to be:
An intentional trust relationship in which a more experienced person supports, guides and develops another in life, ministry and leadership.